Thoughts during 1st Breakfast, Friday

Canberra Times

1. I seem to be doing something intense with my jaw during unconscious times.

2. I was thinking about what a train wreck I was during my first semester of college, at Sarah Lawrence, and I experienced a new kind of pain thinking about my kids having to go through that. Difficult and inevitable to a certain extent. But, I do think there is something very valuable in being able to look back at a past version of yourself and say, "Holy shit, what the fuck happened there?!"

3. ...I'm still entertained by "Walter Benjamin Weisfeld", and it's really not that funny.

4. After--what is essentially--a 9-month harsh hangover, social isolation, constant fight against the forces of thirst and malnutrition...essentially a 9-month spiritual war of attrition...my 25 years of intense birthing anxiety are over.  I'm slightly nervous about a few discomforts, but fuck it.
As I keep saying, that's the only way I can go back to being NOT PREGNANT.
*ahem*

5. I'm officially making it a life goal to someday have a room hidden behind a bookshelf. Going forward, I shall refer to it as my lair.


(39 weeks, 2 days pregnant...6 days 'til due date)

Beaten to the Punch: Baby Dictators

http://urbantitan.com/unique-baby-dictator-clothes/

At that link, you will find a delightful series of baby dictator photographs by Danish artist Nina Maria Kleivan.  My idea to do this series, sadly, was not original it seems. Of course.  But! Look how fun these are. And by fun, I mean amusing while managing to agitate several different levels of discomfort and critique.  I like to remember, also, that her baby is a girl.

                                                       Baby Stalin; Baby Pinochet

POOF!

Seriously, the issue of object permanence (or lack there of...lols) is one of the funniest things about babies to me.

Lols

Nurture Is a Strong Force

Cat adopts baby squirrel...baby squirrel becomes cat.

...and I didn't think these books could get any better.

Thanks to Kent Wang for bringing this awesome into my day.

Photographic Inspiration

From Bored Panda...I love these images by photographer Jason Lee!
Fun, creative, full of childhood magic. I'm filing these under To Do.

And here's Jason's website.

In Utero Training

This kid is totally gonna come out singing the West Wing theme song as a result of my compulsive DVD playing.

What can I say? President Bartlet soothes me.

(...Really what I should hope for is a kid with an innate sense of Sorkin-esque dialogue. I can see it now: "When you say 'lunch', I think we're envisioning two different things, Mom. Here, walk with me...")

Meme-a-licious

(Thanks George Takei!)

Things I (way too) Regularly Consider

*When I am alone, I am never actually alone.

*There is double everything in my body right now (heartbeat, spinal column, tongue, middle fingers).

*If I hold my breath to get rid of hiccups...what is that like for TBD?

*Omg the kid swallows its own pee.

*Will the sound of a vibrator be terrifying for the kid? Like a giant lawn mower coming to eat it?

*Are other mammals aware of the fact that they're carrying their young in their bodies? Dolphins perhaps? Do they think dolphin thoughts about how weird this reality is?

*What if TBD is born a unicorn or a garden gnome? How could I hide it from evil government scientists who would obviously want to steal and study my baby?

*Where does one acquire those pointy gnome hats?

*Why are there so few episodes of David the Gnome?!

Things I Called My Mom While Growing Up

I have a tendency towards nicknames.

I probably have 10 I semi-regularly use for the husband--we won't get into those right now, but I assure you that he hates half of them.

Growing up, I had several for my mother too. I find myself thinking about a couple quite a bit:
Dear Maternal Unit
Oh Great Vaginal One (as in, the one whose vagina I sprang from)

Obviously my mother had a great tolerance of (and even humor about) my persistent quirkiness. They were said with respect; I was never being a little bitch about it. They were just a little androidy.

I hope that when my kid starts flirting with the intersection of identity, science, and language, I will be just as awesome as my mom was.