Radical Homemaking: a beginning

Ok, I have to start this with a preface:
There are a lot of issues of privilege that come into play when talking about someone choosing to stay home instead of working for the monies. Additionally, there are currently a lot of people out there who desperately want to work, but can't find jobs or are incapable of holding a job for one reason or another. Issues of privilege and class (and race...and gender...) are incredibly important for us all to be thinking about in our everyday lives, and my discussion of homemaking is not presented without a conscious awareness of all this. But, that also doesn't mean that we shouldn't pursue ideas and choices because our culture currently doesn't allow everyone to participate in them. On the contrary, I think often change starts when people in positions of privilege start making different choices and speaking about them.



I am embarking on a new life as a homemaker. I feel a little shameful just saying that publicly. I come from a cultural milieu that demands that women pursue careers and ever-increasing levels of financial independence. I have a master's degree, I have taught at the college level, I have studied/debated/lectured on the most hardcore philosophical levels of feminism(s) since I was 15 years old. I was raised in a family where not only did my mother always work--often multiple jobs--but HER mother (b. 1920) also worked and was a savvy businesswoman. As a result of these realities, and so many more, I am currently working through the guilt of "depending on a man" for my financial comfort.

BUT...this idea that it is a weakness for one member of a partnership (regardless of sex) to depend on the other member for financial support, I believe, is rooted in an inherently patriarchal and capitalist/consumerist belief system--a system which I wholeheartedly believe is at the root of most of our major planetary ills (it looks different in different places, but the effects are the same).

My developed skills and natural talents do not make the big bucks. They are not greatly valued by our culture. My partner's skills are. It doesn't make sense for me to invest the precious hours of my day working at a job which only makes a tiny fraction of what my partner can make, and to then have 2 people in a relationship who are tired, stressed out, and only half-able to do the work of building/maintaining a home.