Things I (way too) Regularly Consider

*When I am alone, I am never actually alone.

*There is double everything in my body right now (heartbeat, spinal column, tongue, middle fingers).

*If I hold my breath to get rid of hiccups...what is that like for TBD?

*Omg the kid swallows its own pee.

*Will the sound of a vibrator be terrifying for the kid? Like a giant lawn mower coming to eat it?

*Are other mammals aware of the fact that they're carrying their young in their bodies? Dolphins perhaps? Do they think dolphin thoughts about how weird this reality is?

*What if TBD is born a unicorn or a garden gnome? How could I hide it from evil government scientists who would obviously want to steal and study my baby?

*Where does one acquire those pointy gnome hats?

*Why are there so few episodes of David the Gnome?!